What to wear?

Sally and I have been talking to the lawyer about wills, medical powers of attorney and such.  He recommends that everyone discuss end-of-life issues with their family, everything from when to stop CPR to whether to be massaged with warm oils in the final days.  (Never having been massaged with warm oils, I need to seek some expert advice on that one.) And nothing I’ve seen so far advises what to do when, in response to your final wishes, your teenage daughters roll their eyes and say “Oh Dad, no way, we can’t do that, it’s appalling.”

For instance: my final sartorial splendor. Although I wore suits every day of my life as a diplomat, I never liked them and have no intention of leaving this world in one.  At the same time, getting buried in my former profession's uniform --- journalists’ togs of wrinkled khakis, an oxford shirt with coffee stains and a tie yanked down below the collar -- doesn’t seem quite right either. The weekend wardrobe of cargo shorts and a t-shirt would require the selection of one t-shirt from among many classics.  To me there is an obvious solution -- my super-comfy, stylish, and yes, a bit daring, leopard-print bathrobe. Admittedly it shows a hint of hairy ankle, but you wouldn’t see that in a casket, and speaking of open caskets, that State Department logo embroidered on the chest would offer just the right amount of dignity and gravitas for the service.

Now I trust my family absolutely in all things, but I’m just not sure they could honor this most final of wishes without adding to their grief and anguish, which one hopes will already be profound.  So we shall compromise. I shall be cremated, and if that bathrobe accompanies my mortal coil to the crematorium, we will all consider it a fitting finish.

As a consequence I shall have no casket, also eliminating the burden to the family of finding a casket that closely resembles a 1994 Mazda Miata (which is actually not as hard as you might think. The Miata is all black, kind of curvy, already looks like it belongs in a mortuary show-room).  Regardless I trust that the Miata, like the bathrobe, will find a fitting finish.